Premature flip

Here’s how it works: you’re chilling at home and suddenly you hear a crashing sound. Then you know what’s coming: at any moment someone will force you to go out.

Don’t get me wrong, I do want to get some fresh air. I spend most days at home, pretty bored, just laying on the floor, hanging on one of the hooks by the door if I’m lucky. So, obviously, a part of me wants to go out. But, if you think about it, I only get to see the bad days. The grey, cloudy, ugly ones. The only sun rays I see are the ones right after the storm. And those are pretty cool, but in a question of seconds I’m back on the floor again. All wet now.

And then there’s the premature flip problem. People get so angry when that happens. Do you think we do it on purpose? It’s something we can’t control. We’re actually terrified. I know I am. Did you know that 1 every 4 umbrellas are left on the street after being turned inside out by the wind? I don’t want to be abandoned! I’ve seen it happen, it’s humiliating. So I try my best to stay in place but I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep up the pace, I’m getting old. And let’s be honest, I don’t have fiberglass ribs, or steel shaft, or whatever fancy umbrellas have nowadays. It’d be nice to see a rainbow before it happens, though, I’ve never seen one.

Hope it’s not an urban legend.